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I get this question constantly so I thought I’d write a little blog about it to outline our theory on “crossing spirits over.” At the end of the blog, I also address why we’ve started to visit locations that aren’t family homes this season of Kindred Spirits.
Let me preface this by saying that I will never speak in absolutes. Everything I put here is theory and it comes from ideas, experiences and evidence we’ve had over years of investigating. I always urge people to do or believe what feels right to them. This is just me, outlining how I personally feel and choose to do things as a paranormal researcher.
I admit, I have sat in investigations and watched people who I deeply respect and still investigate with claim to “cross spirits over” or “send them into the light.” And I believed it – until I was called back to those same locations repeatedly. Sometimes years later, with that same ghost still there, still very much wanting attention and causing activity.
It was then that I realized that the idea of just sending these spirits off without listening to them was actually a little dismissive. Why did I feel like I somehow had the right or the power to decide when these spirits needed to move on?
If we aren’t even sure what happens when we die, if we aren’t even sure what ghosts are – why are we SO sure that spirits need crossing over? Are we projecting our own fear of being stuck somewhere as a ghost on these spirits and in the process not listening to what they actually have to say?
When Adam and I came up with the idea for Kindred Spirits we wanted to started telling the story of every spirit we encountered. We wanted to figure out who they were/are, and most importantly, WHY they would still be here. And most every single time, we’ve found a reason.
It’s an incredible amount of work. It involves a huge amount of research, interviews and in depth investigations over multiple nights. Sometimes we spend days chasing the wrong lead and have to start back at the drawing board. But in the end, if we can figure out why that spirit is still here, we can begin to address fixing their issue or delivering their message. Many times, once their issue is addressed, the activity decreases significantly or stops altogether. Or, once their issue is realized, the living around them can begin working with them to help. Some of us have deep-seated psychological issues or guilt complexes, etc – I don’t think these feelings disappear when we pass.
This is also why Adam and I chose to start visiting locations that weren’t just homes this season of Kindred Spirits. Kindred Spirits was born because of the huge amount of guilt we felt personally when we once left Waverly Hills years ago and felt as though a group of spirits there were still desperate to talk to us. Even so, we initially chose to focus on homes and help families, but more and more, people were asking us to help the ghosts of these larger locations…the spirits still roaming, with no one listening to them. Spirits who could have family alive today who have no idea their relative is still here in some fashion. They’re no less deserving of our help.
In conclusion, what I’m saying is that with a little work, a little time and a whole lot of compassion, we can stop viewing spirits as helpless individuals floating in the night and start seeing them for what I strongly believe them to be – PEOPLE like you and me, who just aren’t ready to leave yet. People with free will, who can choose to accept your help or not. Talk to them like you would want to be spoken to. Talk to them for real and most importantly, listen to what they have to say.
Thanks so much to everyone who has watched us on this journey. Season three of Kindred was epic and an absolute joy to bring to the screen. We’ll be back out on the road soon working on more episodes. In the meantime, you can watch past episodes on the Travel Channel web site.
If you’d like to meet me, I’m doing a number of appearances and talks over the next few months, (including some great trips with my company Strange Escapes), so check out my appearances page to see if I’ll be nearby.
xoxo,
~ a
20 Comments
It seems as though mediums speak to those who have
died, and I’ve seen shows where it appears that we are surrounded
by loved ones who have passed. I wonder if they are always
with us, or appear upon medium’s request.
I absolutely agree with you on this. We have a spirit here, and once she made the breakthrough in communicating with us she is an un-seen member of the household. She has the ability to move things- some quite heavy (chairs), and will slip boxes of donuts into the grocery cart. For some reason, she prefers to not be seen doing stuff. Playing games? Rules she has to follow? She loves tying shoes, and will answer questions accordingly. Left shoe for “Yes”, and right shoe for a “No”. Multiple shoes tied for enthusiasm. Example: We went to a zoo, and when we got back, asked her if she had fun. We got 16 shoes tied in the closet. Hundreds of incidents in the last few years. Can’t get it on film, as we don’t have the equipment.
We do not ask any religious questions, like the existence of God, etc. We do ask her to find things for us, with a good deal of success. We have asked her to help others that have passed- friends, family, etc., to help them adjust. Something happens there- she goes away for a few days, and then comes back. Especially when my wife worked at a nursing home. Giving lessons as to how to adjust to the afterlife, we think. Very interesting stuff. And very infrequently, we can hear her. Without equipment.
Amy (and Adam)- keep up the good work. You are on the right track.
Love that you both will help all. I have to admit, I was happy that you were helping families. So many of the institutions have been done. But, I do understand, and you are right so many stories. You probably know Amy Allen. She is supposedly helping people in problems and sending people to the light. Do you consider this a good thing? And have you come across people with abilities? Do you suggest they learn more? Love that Chip is there when you have difficulties. I think it is also good you keep him in the dark, so to speak, about where and what. I think he gets a better read that way.
I hope you will be able to continue for a long time. With the way you investigate it is more interesting. Not all spirits are mean and I like to hear their history, not to mention it makes them just like us.
Beautifully written…well said! I very much enjoy watching Kindred Spirits just because of the compassion you and Adam show. Looking forward and HOPING for season 4!
You and Adam were my favorite investigators on “Ghost Hunters”, along with Grant. This past summer, my wife, son-in-law, daughter-in-law and I had dinner with and went on a ghost investigation with Dave Tango and Steve G. @ Rolling Hills Asylum in NYS. It was a great experience. I, recently, purchased VIP tickets to attend and meet you and Adam at “The Pullo Center” in York, PA. at the end of September. We’re very much looking forward to that because we admire you two so much. I very much agree with your feelings on “crossing over” spirits. Me and my wife thoroughly enjoyed Season 3. I didn’t know how you could improve from the other seasons, but you and your team did, much to our delight. Keep doing what you enjoy, until it’s no longer fun. I hope that’s not for a long time. We’ll be front row in September. Best wishes, Ron Smith/Users/admin/Pictures/Photos Library.photoslibrary/Thumbnails/2018/06/09/20180609-161437/IDK8ygzeTrCrJCwgSfNolw/thumb_IMG_2291_1024.jpg
Well written, Amy! It brings me to tears, knowing there are spirits of people waiting for someone to listen to and acknowledge them. So glad you and Adam are doing this! That is success!!! God’s Blessings to you!
I love watching kindred spirits. You and Adam are amazing and the results you come to are fantastic. I am glad there are people like you two out there giving a voice to the past not just exploding them for ratings on TV.
Amy you an Adam are so caring an compassionate..Waiting for season 4!! Thank you for taking us on this journey..
I totally agree with you and that is one of the reason I watch Kindred Spirits and Ghost Hunters back in the day is that you rarely provoke and willing to listen to their story as to what they need to tell. Sometimes this is all they needed to move on. Keep up the good work you are doing and do not lower yourself to their levels of provoking and OHHHHH it’s and orb!!!!
Amy, I couldn’t agree with you more! Who are we to tell anyone to go live anywhere when they may be perfectly happy in the place they are in. I used to see ghosts as a child and feel them now. I believe we go to our “Happy Place” when we leave this realm. I hope to meet up with my relatives and travel to other realms. This might be against my Christian up bringing of Heaven or Hell but I think we go through a lot of Hell right here on Earth! Take care sweet lady! You and Adam do a wonderful job!!! I like Chip in the mix too!!
Does it seem to you that these people have no one to communicate with until a “living” person comes into their awareness? Clearly we need a new word other than “the dead”, as apparently no one is “dead”.
I love that you give spirits a voice. I’m sure many have things unsaid or undone when they pass, especially those who pass unexpectedly. There is one thing you and Adam do that really aggravates me, though. You and Adam frequently refer to spirits as “it” or a “thing.” You have said yourself, these are PEOPLE not things. Once you identify the spirit, especially. If you don’t know a name, you could at least refer to them as the spirit or ghost instead of a thing. I think it’s very disrespectful to call them a thing. You likely do it without thinking. But it would be nice if you could work on changing this habit.
I love the show. It is good to see Chip on.
Finally some help for these poor spirits desperate to relay some important message or request. I applaud you both for taking this position and look forward to watching another great season.
I think you all do a great job with getting the back story on the spirits you encounter. Empathy is the key to resolution. In most cases we have handled, we offer the dead an opportunity to cross. We have a good success rate because we understand the many reasons why spirits dont cross. One cannot assume they will cross over just because you offer it. You have to talk to the spirits, often times convince them – because there is confusion and fear – and give them the tools they need to successfully cross over. And yes, there are the unruly, stubborn, and sometimes unwilling. If it comes between a living family having peace in their home, and a spirit who wants to hang around because he or she has a negative purpose, or perhaps doesnt have the faculties to understand what is going on, i will send them over. In that case, both sides can find peace in the end.
Thank you Amy! That was a heartfelt beautifully written message to all of the Kindred Spirits viewers and followers like me, who are looking for answers.
You underscored what I have thought and said about your investigations and the sensitivity and respect you and Adam show for the departed.
Bless you dear Lady!
Thanks you for your insight. I luckily have tickets for the live show in September. What you say makes a lot of sense.
Very well said. Our team follows what you wrote. Who, what , when and why. We totally believe that you cannot force a spirit to “ cross over”. They will when they are ready. Every spirit has a story and we need to listen . Thank you for the article.
Hi Amy,
First let me congratulate you and Adam for bringing this concept to the screen. I respect and agree with your investigation style completely. You are shedding light on the other side in a way we haven’t seen before.
I’ve had my own encounters through the years some very scary and others an absolute joy to experience. While I haven’t become an investigator like yourselves I do find myself acknowledging a spirit’s presence when I think one is close and doing my best to listen.
Even with my experiences, I found that listening and/or acknowledging them helps in some way. They are people after all.
I can see why you choose to investigate the way you do.
Thank you for all you do for this community.
Mark
You and Adam have such a great way of looking at things and I totally agree with your apparoach. I’ve loved your show for a while now, but this season was absolutely amazing!